Wednesday, 5 August 2009

The Genius of James Richardson

There were many great reasons to be growing up in the early 90's. Power Rangers was at it's best, Playing Super Nintendo was the way to spend weekends and Football Italia was on Channel 4. The best part about Football Italia was it's presenter - James Richardson. Since then I've been a huge fan of him and his wondrous puns. Hopefully after Setanta's collapse ESPN will pick him up. Still here's my little tribute to "AC Jimbo" with some of his best puns:

"What do Clarence Seedorf and Pete Doherty have in common? They both get caught in possession an awful lot."

"Would Sven be partial to a role behind the desk? Stop sniggering at the back!"

"Chelsea paid a levy for the Shevy but the Shevy went dry."

"It hasn't been an amazing first half. Quite frankly, i've seen better finishing from the builders of Wembley Stadium."

"And he made off with more speed than a Scottish raver."

"Inter striker Alvaro Recoba set to become the club's highest paid player, so it's not just Ronaldo who's got big bucks."

"Inter fans have, like a man eating a milipede, tasted defeat many times."

"The goals in this game have, like a horny baker, came in a roll."

"Roma are like Channel Five; they are just not the same without Totti."

"The Brazilian defender once spent six months in a Sao Paolo jail. Lazio are keen, given how much he knows about keeping it tight at the back."

"Like George W. Bush with a model plane kit, you'll be glued to the box."

"This week Serie A has been responsible for more dope producing than Dr Dre."

"Liverpool with a score straight out of Posh Spice's diary: 8-nothing"

"Ince's hard tackle on fresh young Totti."

"Stock in Spanish dermatologists have went through the roof with the news that Antonio Cassano is set to join Real Madrid."

"Jimmy Bullard - like a bottle of poppers - will be trying to keep the Cottagers up."

"Fans couldn't be more on the edge of their seat if they'd just spent an afternoon with Max Mosley."

"Stephen Ireland, a man who's had more stiff nans than a dodgy indian restaurant."

"It's hard hitting and across two legs. No, it's not Craig Bellamy's golf club, it's the Champions League semi-finals."

"He tried to escape by car but was spotted waiting at red traffic lights; the fans instantly recognising the foreigner!"

"It you can't exchange bodily fluids- what's the point in having Cesc?"

"The most excitement seen at a live match appearance since I worked at a gunpowder factory."

"Today's podcast is more packed than the boxes on my desk at Setanta."

There used to be a Wikiquote page dedicated to his genius, but it has sadly been deleted. Curse you wikimods, you wikheads.

Ah, copy and pasting. The fast track way to becoming a blogger. Stay tuned later for The Genius of Ray Hudson.

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